Home Wrecked
by Angeltsuki
Summary: Homer and Bart have wrecked the kitchen leaving no food for the rest of the family, taking Maggie with them, and left them stranded. Lisa, Marge, and her twin sisters Patty and Selma have to suffer. Find out what happens! OneShot! -writing prompt-


It was about 2 in the afternoon when Lisa yawned and stretched raising her arms in a wide arch above her head. Once again she had accidentally fallen asleep working on a project and after mulling through some ideas of what to do she decided to go downstairs to find something to eat. Once she reached the bottom and headed into the kitchen she saw a disaster area where there was food smeared all over the place, the refrigerator door was still open, food smushed and leaking from it; her mother Marge, was cleaning it up with a broom at the momenet with gusto making those little 'hmp' noises that she did and her aunts, Selma and Patty smoking and watching their younger sister do so with their typical cynical straight faces.

"What happened?" Lisa asked looking around with wide eyes, still taking in the disaster site.

"Homer happened, and I think Bart went for the ride if he didn't help in making this mess," Selma said after puffing out smoke in a long breath, "There isn't a scrap of food left and they took the car and crashed ours," the last bit she shared a look with her twin Patty.

At the mention of the lack of food their stomachs grumbled making themselves known, and all they could do was pat or rub their respective midsections.

Lisa groaned softly, "Ohh why didn't they at least leave something in the pantry? I'm hungry and I didn't realize that I'd be so empty, I just woke up."

Marge looked at Lisa and frowned softly both out of being hungry and of guilt, "Oh I'm sorry honey, I'm hungry too. If anything I'm just as empty as you are since the last thing we all ate was dinner."

Patty looked at Lisa, "I'm hungry too kid and empty just like the rest of you. Homer and Bart did this before any of us woke up, so you don't have to worry about having missed a meal. There wasn't one," at that she took a deep puff of her cigarette and released it in a big sigh.

Selma looked over at Marge, "Marge if I wasn't so hungry, and if I didn't feel like there was a hole poking in my stomach, I'm sure I'd be able to think of something better than just waiting for that louse of a husband of yours to show up," her twin hmmed in agreement.

Marge looked over at her sisters, bent over pushing wasted food, and frowned while humming her soft disapproval as she usually did when they talked about her husband like that, even though they knew she loved him. Of course that hardly ever stopped them from voicing their obvious dismal opinion of him, and they didn't care who was there or who was in hearing range of their opinion, not that it mattered. It angered the youngest sister so much, but she loved her sisters and did wanted to make a good impression on Lisa on how to handle things that make people angry and thus took her frustration out by cleaning with more gusto. Lisa eyed the disaster just a moment longer and then went and took a seat next to her Aunt Selma, thankfully her mother had already cleaned the table area and put all the chairs to rights, only having to focus on the floors, walls, ceiling, and kitchen appliances, making good headway with a part of the floor. It would have made Lisa appreciate all of her mother's hard work if she had any plans to even consider being a housewife, which of course she did not, at this point it would just be nice to know how to take care of herself so she would be able to avoid a situation like this and be able to cook and feed herself.

The company in the Simpson's household looked at the wasted food on the floor being cleaning up and their bellies growled in distaste at having their meal wasted. The girls rubbed their bellies hoping to soothe them from the obvious abuse of being denied food.

Lisa closed her eyes and mumbled, "Urg I'm hungry. I mean my stomach just feels like it's getting emptier, but it can't get emptier if there wasn't anything in it," she glared at the table mentally blaming her older brother for most of wasted food since he had more sense than their father half the time; it wasn't in her dad to do something like this and not panic.

"Well if this is how your husband treats his guests I wonder what it's like here without guests," Patty said taking another puff of her cigarette, "I'm hungry now, my stomach is pretty empty at this moment, I wonder what it's like when we're not here. If Homer does these things only when we visit to keep us entertained, you can tell him we don't want it," at this she shook her ashes into the ash tray.

Selma took right up where Patty took off, "Especially if it means we're all basically starved. If I didn't have such high standards, or high morals for that matter, I would suggest we make something from what's left, but that would just kill us. Who knows what Homer and Bart did to the food? But the fact remains that I'm hungry and my stomach ain't getting' any emptier," Selma then took a big relaxing puff from her cigarette the same time Patty did, their moves almost identical.

Marge frowned more and kept up with the angry cleaning grumbling, "Well as hungry as I am, I know he'll fix this. Homie has a good heart and I know he'll figure something out. As empty as my belly is, I know he will… he always has before."

Lisa looked over at her mom, she hated what her aunts were saying, but knew that in the end it was all just cold truth, and that just made it worse. She leaned her head against the table, her forehead resting on the cold surface taking her mind off her complaining midsection, trying not to think about the newest disaster her dad and brother made. Marge saw Lisa do this in the corner of her eye and frowned sadly, still cleaning, and a little of her anger melted out of her, but she knew that her Homie would take care of it and be back soon and they would be able to eat as soon as he got back. Selma and Patty continued to smoke their cigarettes, staring blankly at the food covered wall in front of them. The disaster that was the kitchen was slowly being cleaned efficiently, but tormenting the residents who could not eat the wasted food that covered it.

Their stomachs growled a little louder than before only to be met with the same reaction of being pet to sooth the sounds they were making.

Lisa groaned softly and turned her head on the table looking at the wall that had food painted on it masterfully by the best mess makers in Springfield, "I'm so hungry, I can't help it. My stomach feels like it's going to eat itself."

Selma and Patty blew out at the same moment, a soft hiss escaping them in perfect unison, "You're not the only one hungry Lisa, you just have to remember to be stronger than your pig-headed father. It seems like it's too late for Bart, and I think it's a good thing they took Maggie, at least we know she'll get herself fed. But to help you I'll let you know my stomach feels like it already has started eating itself and only smoking will help until you idiot father returns," Patty said, her face showing that she wasn't trying to be mean, but felt as though she was just speaking the truth.

Selma took another puff of her cigarette, "Lisa if you think about it's been like this forever, only this time it's more modern. I'm hungry, we're hungry, and we have to wait for the Neanderthals to come back with a meal from their big outing. We can only hope they'll bring enough to fill us up until the next meal. In the meantime we have to suffer and feel just how hollow our bellies are, like mine is slowly turning into one of those pits that people say lead to hell."

Marge looked over at her sisters with wide eyes at their blatant descriptions, it was normal but this time there was a lack of female empowerment that they always tried to instill into her daughter, "Lisa, honey, what your aunts are trying to tell you is that while yes we're all hungry, and boy am I very hungry. We just have to wait a bit until your father gets home. When he does either he'll bring something home or we'll just go out and eat something. But in the meantime think of it like a bonding session; all of us feeling just how empty our stomachs are! Why mine feels like one of those holes in the trees where the owls like to live," Marge finished with a smile and chuckling softly at her own joke.

Lisa smiled at her mom's words even if she felt they were a bit stupid and mostly agreed with her aunts basic truths. While her aunts were her basic staple of truth her mom was there to smooth the edges so the truth wouldn't hurt so much in the end when you finally realize the extent of it. Patty and Selma smiled to themselves happy with Marge's choice of words, she always knew how to show the bright side of things to even out the dark side of truth, it's what made her Marge. It's also what made Marge so easy to suggestion and threw her into the habit of cleaning by herself without feeling the slightest bit of resentment since she was used to it from childhood with them. But in the end it was what made her special, and her family loved her all the more for it, even her two cynical and sarcastic sisters, who Lisa often sounded like without the raspy sound that came with smoking.

Not long after they stomachs howled their discontent startling Marge and the others at hearing just how hungry they really were. Of course they could do nothing about it though and rubbed their bellies hoping it would quiet them just a little bit longer and hoping that it wouldn't be that much longer until Homer and Bart showed up.

Marge humphed, hoping that her little speech wouldn't be ruined by their tummies deciding at that moment to announce how hungry they were; she stood up push broom in hand and laughed a little, although it was obviously forced, "Oh boy! Did you hear that? Our stomachs must agree that we're all very hungry. Mine sounded like James Wood.," she chuckled at her own humor, "Of course James Wood would probably complain a little more than mine, maybe it was more like Lisa's. But the more I think about it the deeper that tree hole must be," she laughed a little more before going back to sweeping up the mess.

Lisa smiled at her mom's obvious attempts to make it seem better even though it was probably a very bad thing, especially since they hadn't even had a call from her dad, but it didn't stop her from saying, "Yeah mom I heard, I think mine sounded like Scratchy after Itchy got him first. My stomach feels like that hole in the sandpit in the backyard."

Patty looked over Lisa and back at Marge, "Mine feels like that hole in Homer's head. I'm hungry enough to let a man take me out to dinner," she smiled after that to herself despite the situation.

Selma also smiled at her sister's sense of humor, "My stomach sounded like a door Macgyver kicked in. Although my stomach doesn't feel as lucky a door kicked by his foot should feel it still feels like a kick in the pit. It might feel that way because I haven't eaten and I'm, oh I don't know, hungry?" she look pointedly at the wall that had some sort of yellow and green mush together and glared at it for not being edible

Marge made a noise under her breath that sounded fuzzy due to being around her sisters' constant smoking. She said nothing about the comments made about her husband but had to stifle a laugh at Selma talking about Macgyver having anything to do with her stomach; although she had a feeling Patty wouldn't mind Macgyver taking her out to dinner with how much they both loved him. She took another glance at her daughter and smiled because it seemed that their odd sense of humor amused Lisa, which she was glad for knowing that her immediate family seemed a bit too dull for her at times, even catching her off guard. She assumed it had something to do with being smart that made people so cynical, since her sisters obviously were, or it could be something Lisa inherited and that was why she had to same type of humor as them, the more Marge thought about it the more interested she became and thought it would help take her mind off her hunger if she paid more attention to how Lisa and her sisters interacted together. The thought had some merit to it and she could use a bit of distraction since she was the one that was cleaning, she could use something to make it seem less tedious.

When Marge had finally decided that was what she was going to do her stomach growled at her, not as loudly as the others' as though agreeing with her. Although they all ended up rubbing their stomachs in the same manner, Lisa and Patty just a little bit longer than Marge and Selma.

The twins inhaled some more of their cancer giving cigarettes like it was a lifeline and exhaled gratefully when Selma flicked an ash off into the ash tray, "Marge you know what's wrong with this? I'm hungry for the first time in my adult life that I can't control. Your husband took your car, crashed our car, and now my stomach is as empty as my gas tank. Which by the way we will be making him refill."

Patty followed suit and also flicked her ash into the ash tray, "We know you may want to say something to stick up for him about this one, but face it Marge. I'm hungry too, and I know we're going to have to pay to fix up our car, although we will allow Homer to send us payments to pay us back. But at this point in time my stomach is just as empty as Homer's head and the DMV's hearts put together."

Lisa lifted an eyebrow at her aunt's simile, "I'm so hungry I could eat some horse. Like maybe on a burger or something, with some robin eggs on the side. Maybe that would fill this hole that's taken residence in my belly. But then again I've never had horse or robin eggs… but I'm hungry enough that even if I didn't like it, I'd eat it all anyways."

Marge made a 'Hmm' noise, she had never cooked any of that before, but she made some pretty good meals and dishes before, maybe it would be nice to have something exotic for once, "Lisa that sounds like a good idea! We're all so hungry; I'm so hungry, that maybe trying something new at a time like this would be perfect. That way even if we don't like it, we'd eat it anyways and no one would be the wiser since we wouldn't have to leave a whole plate of it on the table. It wouldn't scream: Oh this was TERRIBLE! And we have bad manners! It would probably be so much that it would fill our bellies. Mine is starting to feel like the hole in a tree is really a pipe down to its roots."

Lisa and her aunts looked at her mother with wide eyes in obvious astonishment. That was an interesting idea, but also something that Marge _would_ put a good spin on. It was interesting enough that it would be a good idea to try since it would literally force them to eat the whole meal whether they liked it or not, which at this point any idea involving food sounded like a good idea. They took a minute to think about it, sitting in a restaurant or a diner and being served food, some of them liking what they were eating, others eating it just to eat; one had a waiter that was watching them, one of them was eating with no regard to manners, one was eating somewhere fancy because she could, and one was eating at an old fashion diner with a bar like table to enjoy it. It was a wonderful idea and at the same time something terrible to think about at the time since it was only making them hungrier and some a little more angry at the situation.

Their tummies growled in anger at their neglect, demanding that they be given attention and food at that point in time. Sadly they were further neglected since the ladies were unable to meet their needs and proceeded to rub and pat their bellies in poor attempts at soothing them.

Lisa groaned a little louder than before, "I'm starving, I wish Dad and Bart would have pulled this stunt after we had eaten something, then it wouldn't be as bad. My stomach is starting to feel like one of those black holes Stephen Hawking talks about," even in hunger Lisa was thinking bright, which made her more irritable to stupidity.

Marge 'hmm'ed some more, but it sounded more like a sad 'hmm' of a groan, "That tree pipe is just getting deeper, it might be starting to reach the power lines under the ground. I'm so hungry that I might just try some of that exotic food that other countries eat, like grasshoppers or chocolate covered ants. I hate the idea of eating bugs, but if they think it tastes so good, it must be something!"

Patty and Selma took another puff of their cigarettes, which were almost finished, in slight annoyance at their sister's optimism; of course they had more exposure to it so they were used to it like a person was used someone snoring loudly, Patty spoke before Selma did, "Well if it seems like such a good idea maybe you'd go and get them. I mean it would be a pain to somehow kill them all without squishing them and getting enough to feed us all," sarcasm was dripping from her words, "I mean I'm pretty starving at this point, but I'm still above eating ants and grasshoppers. What's next? Scorpions? My stomach is starting to feel like one of those black holes Lisa was talking about, my hunger is so deep, I don't know where it ends; and of course it's all Homer's fault. Bart was just an accessory to his crime and Maggie just went for the ride."

Selma hummed in agreement, "I'm pretty starving myself, but I ain't eating no bugs. I'd rather the hole in my stomach get deeper before I start filling it with something that lives on the dirt. It'd be like having someone walk into a house without wiping their feet, only going into my stomach. At least you can wash vegetables before you eat them, some you even peel them before they get anywhere near your plate."

Marge had the small beginning of shame build in her chest at her, now ridiculous, idea; she was only making a suggestion, it wasn't even a serious one, but she still felt embarrassed all the same and it took the form of shame at not being as smart as the others in the room with her. She loved them all, but they were all so smart they sometimes seemed to lack a heart, they were cynical and sarcastic and they didn't seem fazed by certain things but weren't open enough for other ideas that just "seemed" to be stupid in their opinion… at least her Homie would have given her a chance or at least said something to make her feel better if not try it to make her feel better. Still they were her family and she loved and accepted them all the same, even if it took a bit to get used to Patty's taste in people as love interests; but she loved them and all their quirks and black spots and cynicism. Besides she was a smart cookie herself, but being hungry was starting to take a toll on all of them, and their crankiness started to take the form of more cynicism and sarcasm than usual; it was a little hard to swallow. Using a lot of food related words in her thoughts was starting to get to her more since it just made her think more of food, and at this point it was like a dog chasing its tail.

All of a sudden their stomachs growled louder than before, demanding food and shooting sharp pains into their owners' midsections in anger at their obvious cruel neglect; making them scream in surprise at the sudden pain. Sadly the only thing they could do was rub their stomachs and add a little pressure to subside the pain, which only helped marginally.

Patty groaned and inhaled the last bit of her cigarette, letting her head loll back and puffed out a few rings of smoke before righting herself and staring hatefully at the discolored wall as though it were laughing at her, "Marge if you don't clean up that wall soon I just might have to burn your house down. I'm freaking starving now! This black pit that's made itself a home on my stomach is demanding and annoying. It's only worse since that mush on the wall that was once food is staring me in the, _gosh darn_", Patty took a breath and glared heatedly at the wall before she leaned back in her chair after realizing she had leaned forward to glare at the mess on the wall and quickly lit up a new cigarette to help calm her down, "face," she said calmly inhaling the freshly lit tobacco.

Selma also lit a new cigarette after putting the butt out in the ash tray, "She has a point Marge. The walls need to be cleaned up soon. I mean it's only food that's staring us in the face. You know, food we can't eat. I'm pretty hungry Marge, and it's your no good husband's fault. This stupid emptiness in my stomach is starting to try to make itself a face and name Marge. I ain't having kids, especially one that's just going to annoy the hell out of me saying: I'm hungry, all the damn time," she looked impassively at Marge and turned her disinterested and yet hateful stare at the same wall that Patty was staring at.

Lisa grit her teeth together, for once jealous of her aunts for smoking, because it seemed to be taking their minds off their hunger just a little bit more than her not smoking was doing; the thought made her huff in annoyance, "I hope Dad gets here soon. I'm not getting any younger and I'm not getting any less hungry. If I find out that Bart ate before I did, I'm going to wring his neck! This stupid black hole in my stomach is going to get what it wants before today ends, even if I have to ask Mr. Flanders to invite me to dinner!"

Marge looked at her daughter in astonishment, which wasn't new for her considering how smart she was, "Lisa that's a wonderful idea! We could try to convince Ned to invite us to dinner or maybe find out who's having a cookout! This tree hole is more than happy at the idea of having a nice hot meal," she chuckled at her now common used term for her empty stomach, "But I think it would be incredibly rude for us to invite ourselves. I mean don't get the wrong idea, I'm terribly hungry right now, but it's too much for us to just spring it up on him like that. Still, it would be worth a shot. We'll go over and see what's up after I finish cleaning up this kitchen! I just have the walls, the fridge, and the sink left," she finished with a smile.

Lisa smiled at her mother's enthusiasm while her aunts blew out with approval hums and pleased smiles not far behind.

"You know if Ned wasn't such a bible thumper maybe he would have been a better husband than Homer," Selma said nonchalantly, which was normal of her to criticize Homer and how much of a bad father, husband, and all around man.

Patty hummed her agreement, although it wasn't a surprise since Marge and Lisa know the twin's opinion and perspective of Homer, although they didn't like it they acknowledged it, and the current situation didn't help one bit. Marge just made that low 'hmm' she did when she didn't agree with something and it upset her at the same time, of which no one did or said anything about and left her to her emotions and thoughts. Lisa frowned and stuck her tongue out in distaste at the mere idea of having Ned for a step-father, the Buddhist in her knew that they would clash on a huge scale and she would end up more upset and resentful than she'd like to be on any given day, even if he did cook a good meal.

At that her stomach growled again only to be echoed by everyone else around her, shooting stomach pain hit them again. This time they were prepared and grunted in pain only able to continuously rub and pat their midsections in feeble hopes that it would help just a little longer.

"Hopefully I'll be done cleaning soon, and then we can go and have a nice meal at Ned's. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. Maybe that would fill the tree hold just a little bit and turn it back into a small hole for an owl to live there," Marge said as she was wiping off the fridge with some cleaner and a rag.

"Mmm well maybe if your husband didn't make such a mess we wouldn't have to wait. The hole in my stomach is only getting bigger and angrier. I'm hungry enough that if Homer were to come in with fresh groceries I'd be more than happy to help him," Patty said, still staring at the food covered wall with distaste.

"I'm hungry enough that I would probably help him bring them in and cook. I doubt it though. But at least whatever he brought would fill my empty gut, considering he brings something edible instead of garbage," Selma barked a laugh at that, "if he brings food at all."

Lisa frowned at that but conceded that her dad probably wouldn't come home with food and would have mom do the shopping, "Even if he didn't at least I know that Mom would get him to take her to the store at least, or order pizza until we do get food back in the house. I'm so hungry that I barely care which comes first, the chicken or the egg. Although at this point I'll eat both. The black hole in my stomach is just getting wider and is sucking up anything that's near it."

Marge acknowledged that every one of them was hungry and she started to clean the fridge with more gusto trying to speed the process up knowing that they were waiting for her. She felt the weight of their expectations and knowledge that if it weren't for her Homie and Bart they wouldn't be in this situation, they also wouldn't be waiting for her to finish cleaning up after them to go find something to eat. If they had any money she was sure they would have ordered pizza or take out or something by now, they were all so hungry it was starting to hurt them, and it wasn't like being poked with a finger, but more like a needle really hard. She squirted more cleanser and kept going, hating that even though it was bad now the food still smelled like food, and she was face to face with it and had been almost the whole time, although it had been tampered with by the cleaning stuff she was using. Although in a way she was glad it was her and not them; while Patty and Selma would have had trouble with it, Lisa would have been hit with it and Marge would rather be just that tab bit hungrier than them, and felt as though she was taking a hit for the team.

Her stomached growled loud and deep its unhappiness with not being fed still although the tantalizing smell of food was directly in her face; it was only soon after chorused from the rest of the girls in the kitchen, as was the grimaces and flashes of pain. They of course did the one thing they could do and rubbed their bellies the best that they could, adding more pressure than before to stave off the pain just a bit longer, knowing that pain medications would be useless.

Patty groaned, but it wasn't long before she started coughing her smokers cough and quickly took another drag of her cigarette, "Hurry up Marge. If anything you can always come back and finish after we eat. I'm starving now. If we don't leave soon my stomach just might try to eat my liver with how empty it is. Maybe that would fill it up. But then I'd be out of a liver, wouldn't I?"

Selma understood her sister's aggression, but was also used to her being meaner and more vocal about it, "Marge you can always come back to it. It's not going to clean itself and if Homer and Bart show up you know they won't clean it either. My stomach is empty and there's a good old bible thumper next door who just might be able to feed us. I'm hungry now Marge, and I'm going to keep being hungry until someone feeds me a decent meal," she huffed folding her arms.

Marge grumbled, "Well I'm hungry too, but if I don't take care of it now, it'll stain and smell rancid. I know you two don't live here, but I do a lot in this kitchen and I don't like the idea of it always smelling like rancid food, let alone see the spots! Yet if you keep talking about it the more I want to go and the bigger the tree hole in my stomach gets. The bigger it gets the more I'm tempted to just lick up the mess instead of clean it. So hold on to your seats while I finish cleaning. Goodness! Patience is a virtue and I'm almost done!" she said, her voice sassy making her sound like a rebellious teenager.

"Mom I understand that you do a lot in this kitchen, but I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I'm so hungry and just knowing Mr. Flanders has food right next door isn't helping anything. My stomach is starting to feel like the theoretical black hole that circles the Milky Way. So please mom, hurry up," she said as she stretched herself out along the table in a poor effort of grand theatrics to make her point to her mother.

Marge grumbled more under her breath but once again seemed to put in more elbow grease into the cleaning, moving on to the walls, which pleased Patty and Selma just the tiniest bit. Lisa quickly sat back into the chair the right way and instantly regretted it as it made the hunger pain hit again and stronger. Patty and Selma noticed the pain their niece was in and felt small churnings of motherly instincts kick in, knowing that Lisa was hungry and suffering because of it; knowing that it was worse for her being as young as she was and not having as high a pain tolerance as they did since she was not yet inducted into womanhood. The twins shifted their eyes back onto their little sister who was cleaning frantically and as quickly as she possibly could, there wasn't much left to clean with how much Marge was throwing herself into the 'war on sullied food' effort and were comforted with knowing that they wouldn't have to wait long since she was almost done. They looked outside of the window just to be sure that the unsuspecting bible-oh I mean neighbor was at home and able to cook for them; Ned not home meant Ned wasn't able to feed them, which thankfully he was.

At that moment their stomachs rumbled loudly, making them bend over in pain as it shot through them and hit every nerve in their body. They all grit their teeth and made small noises of pain as they pressed their hands to their midsections rubbing furiously to make the pain stop.

"Mom I'm so hungry! Hurry up so I don't have to go through this anymore! The black hole is eating me! THE BLACK HOLE IS EATING ME!" Lisa shouted at her mother, almost frothing at the mouth.

"Lisa! Don't you take that tone with me young Missy! I'm hungry and right now I think your black hole came over to my tree hole for some tea! So I'm just as hungry as you are," Marge huffed at her daughter for her tone despite knowing just how hungry she was.

"She's right Marge, hurry up because we're leaving in ten seconds with or without you. I'm hungry and it's not getting any easier. My stomach feels like it's been ripped out by the pain that is hunger," Patty said to her sister, partially glaring at her for taking such tones with her like-minded niece.

Selma took a long drag of her cigarette before saying, "Marge you have 5 more seconds before we take Lisa over there and start eating without you. I'm just as hungry as they are and I can't wait anymore. Lisa's right with that black hole in the stomach theory. It's eating us alive and I plan on feeding it to make it go away."

Marge grumbled under her breath but threw down the cleaning supplies, quickly washed her hands and put them on her hips, "Well then let's go if you can't wait any longer!"

Lisa and her twin aunts looked a bit startled at Marge's outburst before smiles claimed their faces and they stood up and followed Marge out of the back door and over to Ned Flanders' front door, knocking loud and proud making sure they were heard, although just in case Lisa moved a little behind her mother and rang the doorbell.

They didn't have to wait long for Ned to answer the door, "Well Hey Diddly Doo! What can I do for you girls?", the smell of food wafted heavenly from behind him.

Patty stared plainly into Ned's eyes to get her point across, "You can feed us right now Ned. We are very hungry, Homer left the house a mess and there is no food because of him. You are going to fix that right now by inviting us to have dinner with you."

"Oh my! Well why didn't you hiddly diddly say anything earlier? I've been cooking a feast to thank the Lord for this great Sunday! Come on in! Although would you mind not smoking in here please?" Ned said not even phased by their hunger crazed stares.

Their stomachs growled loudly announcing how grateful they were to finally be getting food, although the hunger pains still shot sharply through them, the smell of a finely cooked meal not making it any less. They all grit their teeth and rubbed their bellies as they walked into Ned's house knowing it would only be a few more moments before everything was taken care of.

"Thanks Ned you have no idea how much this means to us. I'm so hungry there's a tree hole in my stomach," Marge said giggling a bit trying to play off just how hungry they really were.

"Yeah, thanks Mr. Flanders. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. My stomach is so empty it's like the night sky," Lisa said not trying to say anything that sounded too "scientific" or over Ned's head or anything related to God.

"Thank you Ned and we have to smoke or else how else would we appreciate your food so well? I'm so hungry that I just might put it out after I see a meal on a plate before me and I eat until the hole in my stomach is gone. Until then, I'm going to finish this cigarette," Patty said for both her and Selma.

Selma inhaled her cigarette deeply, "I agree Ned. I'm just starving. The sooner I eat the sooner I can put this out for you."

Ned smiled uncomfortably at the twin's words of not smoking in his house, but lead them to the dining area hoping they would put them out quickly. They girls all sat down, Lisa next to her greatly disliked neighbors, and smiled with a crazy gleam in her eye at the food. They didn't have to wait long as Ned quickly served them all a good helping, not minding their bad manners see how hungry they were and having said Grace before they came in to join them. They girls inhaled the aroma of the food and then quickly dug into their meal ferociously. Ned and his sons watched frightened at the ladies' obvious hunger that was barely kept in check and were only able to thank God that they were there to help.


End file.
